The Best Gift You Can Give Someone
What is the best gift you can give someone? Usually, the best gifts are things that are thoughtful and mean something special to the receiver. Many people put a lot of time and effort into gift giving. Some might think about what they really like to receive and try to do the same for someone else, while others don’t think too much of it because some people like receiving gifts more than others. I mean everyone likes to receive a gift but for some of us, it really fills our love bucket. For me personally, it not at the top but there is definitely one gift all humans crave.
A technology device?
A vacation?
Shoes?
Some coveted house décor?
What if I told you it is absolutely free? It is so simple. It’s something we can give away so easily, yet something we don’t fully give the people in our lives. At least not very often.
It’s something we all crave and when it’s given to us (especially in this day and age) it’s almost magical.
The best gift you can give someone is to listen to them.
Yep, that’s it. Listen to them. That means stop what you are doing, look at them and really pay attention to what they are saying. Engage with them and let them know you heard and understand them.
In another life, I did quite a bit of corporate training, so I didn’t just come up with this on my own – this is something corporate executives are trained on. It’s so basic, yet so hard to do! We are constantly distracted by everything going on around us and especially by those appendages we call cell phones that are never more than 3 feet away from arms reach.
When was the last time someone really listened to you? I mean looked you in the eyes, didn’t have a phone in their hand and took in every word you said? What about the opposite? When was the last time you really listened to someone else? Sadly, the people I tend to listen to the least are the people in my own family. Why do I think it’s OK to be looking down at my phone while my husband or kids are trying to talk to me? In the moment, I justify it because I just need to finish that text or check the calendar really quick or make sure I added something to the grocery list or to-do list. But really…do I really need to be doing those things at the exact moment my kids are trying to tell me something or ask me something?
In the board room – how about that co-worker that literally refuses to put their phone down during a meeting? No doubt driving everyone around them crazy with their rudeness and sending the message loud and clear that the people in the room are second fiddle to the device cradled in their hot little hand.
Everyone wants to feel loved, appreciated, and valued. Humans crave this and this is why listening to someone is the very best gift you could possibly give someone. It’s something you can give away all the time…for free.
I’ve been more intentional lately about not having my phone close by and by setting it down when someone starts talking to me. I don’t want my kids’ memories to be that I was always holding my phone and looking at it. Not to mention, if that is the message I’m sending them, then they will grow up doing that exact same thing and thinking it is OK. It’s not all about the phone either, although I think for most of America, that is the number one distraction. Everyone is “crazy busy” and has multiple things happening at once at any given moment. Therefore, our minds are busy with ideas, to-do’s, and a million other thoughts bouncing around.
Too often than I’d like to admit, I will tell my kids I didn’t hear or didn’t remember them telling me something. Their response is a resounding “Yes, I did tell you! You just weren’t listening! You never listen!” While I do think I listen quite often, I know that I don’t hear them because of the non-stop thinking I’m allowing in my mind. They start telling me a story or whatever it is, and I think I’m listening but really, I’m letting my mind go a mile a minute with thoughts bombarding my frontal lobe instead of concentrating on those sweet voices that are begging for my attention.
I recently was given the idea to have everyone in the family put their phones in a drawer for 2 hours every night. You guys, it’s so simple but so life changing for the family. For me, we have 3 kids but only one of them has a phone. And that is enough! (On a side note, if you have young kids, I HIGHLY suggest waiting as long as possible to give your kids a phone and say no to social media. Again, all of that for another post but who cares if your kid is the last one to get a phone or if “everyone else” has social media. Anyway, I digress…) We’ve gotten a little lackadaisical with our son and it’s gotten a little out of hand. Last Saturday night we invited him on the back porch with my husband and I and we spent 2 hours just talking with him…without our phones… and it was the absolute best night we could remember in quite a while!
So, for me, I’m going to continue to challenge myself to give the best gift to others as much as possible. To LISTEN to them. I want to be away from my phone more. To put it down when someone talks to me. To look them in the eyes and focus on them. To listen to them. Who knew gift giving could be so easy?
