5 ways to maximize time with your kids

Let’s face it, parenting can be exhausting and we all struggle with maximizing time with our kids. Each phase comes with its own struggles and it seems to move from physical exhaustion to mental exhaustion as the kids grow older and mature. When they are young it’s a very physical job of actually caring for infants and toddlers who need to be carried, bathed, clothed, changed and fed. Fast forward and it’s the mental exhaustion of keeping up with school, technology, social media, friend drama etc. All the while worrying if you are actually ruining your kids instead of molding them into someone of character.

So often we look back at the day and regret things that didn’t get done or opportunities that weren’t seized. I never want to live like that. I want to make the most of each day and feel like I’ve maximized my time to the fullest. What follows are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned to maximize time with my kids.

The first thing will probably be hardest for most people and not something anyone wants to hear. However, this has been such a key in my life to feeling like I have some time for myself and have already accomplished something.

Get up earlier

I know, I know, it’s not what you want to hear but don’t stop reading and consider giving it a chance. It doesn’t mean you have to get less sleep! If you choose to go to bed a little earlier and get up earlier then you’re less likely to feel like you’re behind the 8 ball all day.

Getting up before everyone else gives me some precious moments to find gratitude, set my goals for the day, spend time in a devotion and then accomplish something. As the day progresses, if I don’t have a chance to accomplish anything else, I’m cool with it because I’ve already checked something off.

When we always feel like we’re a step behind, it tends to put us on edge and tests our patience. Selfishness creeps in because we haven’t had the chance to do anything we want to do. Then the thought of helping others or adding to our to-do list all day is frustrating.

Taking time in the morning just for yourself is a game changer! If you’re a night owl, I get it. I can’t say that I love getting up early each morning but if I chose to be lazy and not get up, I’m regretful the entire day.

Give your kids that 20 minutes they are so desperately asking for

You know the drill. We’ve all been there and I’m sad to say I’ve been there way too many times than I’d like to admit. The moment you start on a task is the exact moment when one of your little ones comes to you and says “Mommy, will you read a book with me?” or “Mommy, will you play with me?”. If I’m being honest, in my task-oriented mind I often felt like I couldn’t take a few minutes. Whatever I was doing at that moment HAD to be done right then. I know there were SO many times I did play with them but sometimes doubt creeps in and I tend to remember only the moments I felt like I needed to tell them no.

I’ve learned I can almost always sacrifice 15-20 minutes to spend time with them. Dinner, dusting, laundry, a phone call, that really good book you’ve been reading…they can all wait while you spend a few precious minutes filling up the heart of your child. Take that time and read a book with them, play a game with them, walk around the block with them, but do it.

In the end, that time investment of a few minutes will allow you to move on to your next task and both of you feel good about it. It literally took me years to figure this out. Instead of saying “maybe later” or “in a minute” or “I can’t right now”, just spend that time!

If you truly only have a few minutes, you can even set a timer and set expectations. Mommy only has 15 minutes but I’m excited to play this game with you. Once the timer goes off, we’ll have to put the game away and we will find some time to play later. Don’t let yourself look back and feel like you were always telling your kids no. Take a few minutes when they ask you to and fill their yearning hearts.

Wasting time vs. Making the Most of it

Tick tock, tick tock, you are exhausted and the kids bedtime isn’t for another 30 minutes. Just like every other night you are literally counting the seconds until you can put them in bed and crash yourself.

Often times we find ourselves waiting on time instead of making the most of time. Waiting on time to pass instead of generating something positive or doing something productive. Those 30 minutes sure would go a lot faster with some intentionality of making the most of each moment. Instead of watching the clock tick by, find something to fill the time in a positive way. Read a book to a younger child or simply engage with them. Play a quick game or go play in the driveway.

Even with older kids it’s easy to want to sneak off and do something separate from them, leaving them to their own devices for the last hour or two before bed. Intentionality goes a long way with kids and while they might be super happy to bury themselves on their phones or video games, we still have a job to do.

Last night we played Left, Right, Center as a family and it was definitely the highlight of the week. Everyone left that game happy and satiated even though my husband somehow won three games in a row. One of them wanted to play more games and the others wanted to continue hanging out as a family. The best investment of time is being intentional with the time we have with our kids.

Stay one step ahead of them

This is obviously much easier said than done, but you know your kids. You know if they are likely to ask to play with you at the most inopportune time. You know when they will want to eat and when they will want to be allowed screen time. It’s likely you even know when they are likely to have a tantrum.

You know their wants and needs before they even have to ask so stay ahead of them and try to satiate those requests ahead of time or distract before disaster strikes. For younger kids this can mean having a rotation of toys, games, puzzles and crafts at the ready for those times you need to distract them. It could mean making sure you have a quick and healthy snack ready for when they are starving and ready to die of low blood sugar but lunch or dinner is not quite ready.

For older kids, it might mean having a consistent expectation for chores, tasks, and things to accomplish before they can get on a screen and then also limiting that screen time.

Staying ahead of them and anticipating their needs and wants will allow for a smoother day all around. They will know what to expect and you’ll have a quick answer for boredom.

Know Yourself

Lastly, know yourself. Is the messy house driving you crazy and putting you in a bad mood? Do you feel like you can’t get ahead of the game? Are you constantly impatient with your kids? Do you find yourself being reactive more often than not?

Do some soul searching and find out your triggers. Maybe it’s because the house is a disaster and you can’t keep up with it. Perhaps you are overwhelmed by the number of chores to be done. Maybe it’s those closets and drawers that need to be cleaned out and organized. Perhaps it’s because you haven’t found the time to get your workout in.

Your family doesn’t get the time and attention they deserve when you are tired or overwhelmed. Know your triggers so you can remain calm and in control and less likely to react. It’s pretty impossible to spend that quality time with your kids when you aren’t in a good state of mind yourself.

I’ve written some tips here about putting yourself first and finding that time for yourself. If you are just in a funk, there are definitely some things you can do to uplift your mood and you can find those here.

I know we all have the best of intentions of making the most of the time we have with our kids but by the end of the day, it is SO hard. I struggle with this DAILY! Hopefully some of these ideas will help with getting your day off to the right start while making the most of your time. Thank you so much for reading this! If you know anyone who needs this right now, please share. I would be so honored!