Putting ourselves first

Sounds selfish, huh? Almost even proud, cocky or a “more important than you” mindset. However, it’s something I try to do almost every day. Hardly ever does it disrupt my family life or the necessity to keep 500 balls in the air at all times. It does, however, fill me up and also sends a message to my family that I’m important too and taking care of myself is important. 

For me, it’s typically working out but I also consider date nights of the utmost importance. Years ago, I read an article that basically said you are doing your kids an injustice if you DON’T take care of yourself and if you DON’T make time for yourself and if you DON’T go on date nights. What? 

Society and our culture today tells us that our kids are the number one priority and we better make sure they are happy, have the latest toys/electronics, have massive birthday parties, have friends over all the time, get most anything they want (especially if their friends have it), and the list goes on. 

But what message am I sending my kids if they are always first in the family? It’s telling them they are the most important member of the family. More important than their father and mother and more important than anything mom or dad want to do for themselves.

Thanks, but no thanks! If my kids never see me taking care of myself or dating my husband then I’m sending a message loud and clear that I don’t think I’m worth the time or effort to put into myself and my relationships. And guess what? When they grow up, they are likely to fall into the same trap of child worship and not take care of themselves or their relationships.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t miss a single thing they have going on. I will be at every event they choose to participate in and I will be their biggest cheerleader. Having trouble with homework? I’m there! Having friend issues? I’ve got a listening ear! Just want to snuggle on the couch? You better believe I’ll take as much time as I possibly have to give them that quality time! The best part is, if I’ve carved out the time for myself, then giving my time to others comes so much easier. I’m more patient and kind and it shows in all areas of my life.

So, if my kids happen to be around when I need to go for a run or go to the gym or jump on the treadmill, then they will have to wait a little bit so I can get some “me” time in. They see it’s important to me to carve out a little time for myself and probably more importantly, use it to take care of myself. They see the importance of exercise and healthy eating and relationship building and hopefully they will instill that in their own life. 

They often complain when my husband and I go on date nights and yes, sometimes it would be MUCH easier to just stay in. At times it seems like so much extra work if I have to prepare a meal for them before we go out and at the end of the day, all I want to do is crawl up with a good book and don’t have anyone bother me. Date nights to me are invaluable to my marriage. If we make time to date one another we come home refreshed, rejuvenated, and reconnected. Oh yeah, and we also were able to say more than three sentences to each other without being interrupted. 

I know I’ll never regret carving out time for myself and for my relationships.

If you have “me time” or date nights, what is your favorite thing to do?